Josie (1)

(Please note: If you're reading this on facebook, you can find all my "notes" as postings on my blog -- Zap in Crisis)


November 9

I've just eaten light
I can feel it shooting out of every pore
Sparks all around
My skin is lava
I've eaten light
The kind that can make a sagging spirit soar.

I've just tried going to sleep and cannot. I've taken off my t-shirt 'cause I feel alive. There's something about being wanted that seems to keep me wide awake. Bristling with energy. I haven't felt this way many times before; in fact, the first time I felt this way I was completely unaware of what this feeling was.

I could go for a very long run right now. Or maybe talk to you until 5 a.m.

I feel very lucky to have run into you and no matter what you say to the contrary, I think we're headed in only one direction.

I don't know how I've (we've) come to invest so much emotional energy in each other. I just remember a friend once saying that the best friendships begin serendipitously. If nothing else, I've always had this on my side -- serendipity. The ability to make valuable discoveries by accident.

You mentioned the poetry reading: I should mention to you that I have never looked at you, even once, from head to toe. The only thing I do remember is the curve of your foot, as I sat to your right and the cut of your shoe and, I'm not superstitious, but your foot, I noticed, was pointed in my direction. This is all I remember of you at the reading. At the time it did not mean anything except as a still image. Now, it's burdened with all the meaning in the world.

I can't sleep. I can't sleep. I can't sleep!