Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Seven Weird Things About Me

  1. I pee sitting down, especially at home. But, when outside, it's every man for himself! Why you may ask? One word -- splatters. Pee splatters people. Ick. So sit down and shut up!
  2. I'm wracked.
  3. Sometimes, when I am making an appointment with a client after completing an hour long meeting with them, I draw a blank when writing the client's name in my date book. Blank. Totally blank. Why?
  4. I have a recurring fantasy which involves a clean, quiet hotel room, a delicious pizza, a good movie, a hot bath and uninterrupted sleep through the night. That's it. Weird, n'est-ce pas?
  5. I married a woman whose ancestors were forcibly shipped from Africa to the New World hundreds of years ago. She is Black, Christian and was born in Jamaica. She was raised in Canada and studied at the same primary school, junior high and high school as me. We also studied and graduated, at the same time, from the same university. Okay, not weird. Maybe just interesting. But here is the weird part: She's Jamaican and she's never once, god bless her, waved a fully loaded gun in my face! Weird, huh?
  6. I once spent an hour in an isolation tank -- voluntarily.
  7. I watched The Pink Panther Strikes Again the other day. I saw the film twice in the late '70s, but found that I remembered every line and even the incidental music throughout the movie. Weird? Please see # 3.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dude, i think you were paid to sit in that tank.

Anonymous said...

Hey, don't knock the sensory deprivation tank man! It's such an ugly and outdated word anyway. If a person never tried it and they heard that term, they're pretty much guaranteed to have negative associations. The more commonly used word is floatation tank. That's what spas all over the world call it now.

Why are floatation tanks in spas all over the world you ask? Because it feels great! The kind of sensory deprivation that is used on prisoners is something TOTALLY different than the sensory deprivation that happens in a float tank.

I think a zero gravity tank may be an even more accurate term since that is the float tank's most distinguishing characteristic. The dissolved Epsom salt is even more dense than the Dead Sea in Israel, causing you to float like a cork. This extreme buoyancy takes all the pressure off your body, so if you have muscle or joint pain, you'll feel so much better than just resting in bed.

I have a pinched nerve in my lower back that has caused my sciatic pain so bad that I've been paralyzed a few times. The float tank has gotten me to the point that I no longer need pain meds or cortisone injections or back surgery.

So don't knock the sensory deprivation tank, it may be the most relaxing thing you'll ever do.

Anonymous said...

#1 is not so weird. I know many people who sit down to pee. And they're all women too.... Oh, I get it.


#3...

What was I talking about?


#5 Some of my ancestors had sex with goats and sheep, still others placed themselves in crates to be voluntarily sent to the 'new world'. Unfortunately, they forgot to affix the address labels BEFORE getting into the boxes. Thus, they spent three and a half generations on a loading dock eating the hay they were supposed to use as bedding. Baahh.

#6 I tried the iso tank too, but I found that after repeated exposure I had mutated into William Hurt.


What? Only seven?