- Why the love for vowels? Ever hear of two consonants next to each other? (see Eastern Europe).
- Miso soup once cured my headache. Can miso soup really cure headaches?
- Are there really vending machines which dispense women's underwear for fetishistic purposes? Are there still franchising opportunities available for North American entrepreneurs?
- Why don't Japanese fast food combos come with a fortune cookie?
- Is tipping for service really verboten in Japan?
- How come, after the government has fully and thoroughly examined all those whales killed for scientific inquiry, do they taste so fresh and delicious at your local whale bar?
- I am 5' 5" tall. Would I be a towering giant in Tokyo? How about Kyoto?
- "The geisha is not a call girl but a well trained personal classical entertainer/server." Repeat 10 times daily. Right?
- It is said that Japanese people are easily embarassed. True or false? Discuss.
- Do they have yen stores at every other plaza?
もしこれを読むことができます....してください私の謝罪を受け入れるために、上記の。
3 comments:
1. Yes, there must be a vowel after every consonant except for N. That's why Honda and Nissan are ok. Unfortunately that means that 'golf' becomes goruhu and 'strange' is pronounced like sutorenji.
Only Hawaiian is stranger when it comes to transliteration. They're missing half the good consonants, so 'David' becomes Kawika. No kidding.
2. No, but 2 out of every 10 blogged questions causes a headache for someone trying unsuccessfully to respond with something clever. Got any aspirin?
3. Yes and No. Yes, there are such machines. No, franchising is unavailable (since I've already secured the rights for North America and Western Europe.)
You can find a vending machine on every corner in Japan although only about 80% have underwear in them. And only about half of those are soiled.
Personally I think that's disgusting. When I take over the franchises, all that'll change. Even if I have to get in there and soil all the rest myself.
4. Seriously? If fortune cookies had been invented in China and not in the US, they would be available in Japan too.
5. I have never tipped anyone in Japan in 10 years. Then again I never tipped anyone in Canada in 33. Can you say "dain ando dasshu"?
6. The real question is: With all that research, why aren't they warning us about the dangerous mercury levels in them?
Who cares? They're fucking delicious!
7. It's good to dream, isn't it.
8. I feel that headache coming on again.
9. Actually, Ruth Benedict called Japan a "shame-based" culture. Whereas we Judeo-Christian types come from a "guilt-based" society.
All our inner turmoil comes from Jesus and Santa. Apparently they both know whether we've been bad or good.
For the Japanese, turmoil arises when Mrs. Hanada catches you trying to snag her underwear from her balcony with a fishing rod. It has more to do with what society thinks rather than how many lumps of coal we'll receive at the end of December. For goodness sake.
Besides that, if Japanese society was 'embarassment-based', the public baths wouldn't be filled wih octagenerians. "For Buddha's sake, lady, put something on!"
10. Yes, but they are still outnumbered by convenience stores by about 500 to 1.
And by the way, translation software doesn't work. Yuko couldn't even read your apology.
Fortunately my Japanese is still poor enough to understand.
Just in case you're wondering, here's what you wrote:
"If you can read this, I hope this apology will tear the testicles of your lover and bite off his penis."
Is that really what you wanted to say?
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