Fatema's Wedding Reception

Fatema (my niece) looking beautiful at her wedding reception. Click each photograph to enlarge it.







Angelica, Nayla (sp?) and Tarah.

Losses

I have been working in the social service sector for a long time. I have often met clients whom I have found to be personally likable. Sometimes those clients who have given me the hardest time, the biggest challenges, are the ones I end up investing a lot of emotional energy in and working the hardest for.

About a month ago I met a lady who shuffled slowly with her dog on a leash. Her eyes were dull and her face was free from any
affect. When she spoke, she spoke quietly and cried at every one of our meetings. She had just moved into the area for which I am responsible and we naturally circled each other: Me, wondering if she could use my support; Her, eyeing me once in a while...not knowing who I was and why I was in the area so often.

I only knew "Barb" for all of a month....maybe 4-5 meetings. Her apartment lacked a bedroom, had a small kitchen and a small bath with the bed, kitchen table and love seat in the one main room -- a bachelor. A dreary, dark bachelor with virtually nothing to recommend it except that it had 4 walls and a roof and the rent was cheap.

"Barb" died last Friday. Alone. In her bathroom. Probably due to a fall.

I have known a few clients who have died sometime after I stopped working with them. Never have I felt a sense of loss as profound as today. Part of my job is to be able to engage with a client without becoming emotionally tangled in the client's concerns. Indeed, I am almost always working with the goal of discharging the client in mind. Helping but towards independence and not dependence.

"Barb" passed away under circumstances which are not as yet clear to me, and I can't help feeling that I did not do enough to brighten the few moments we had spent together. I can't help feeling that I was only case managing "Barb". We had made an appointment to find a new family doctor, we had made an appointment with her psychiatrist so I could get to know a little bit more about her particular illness. We had talked about accessing funding for a couple of more pieces of furniture. Aside from getting her to fill out a whole bunch of forms and getting to know her a little bit, I did not do much more for her.

"Barb" was sweet, intelligent and had a peculiar insight into her mental illness which made her different from many other clients. I don't think I could have changed the outcome of her passing away...I just regret that I did not show her more kindness.


Photo Credit

Thanksgiving 2008

JR and nieces Sharise (L) and Becky (R)


Brandon...happy, happy!


Sharise as Rihana (2 N's?)


Abdul and Noreen.


Tarah being entertained by Janelle ( who is studying to be a Vet.)


Best shot of the day: Tarah Noor taken by Janelle.


Naomi...couldn't be happier.


Marsh...runnin' tings. Aunty Kalimah and her faux hawk sporting son, Mathew.


Picture of Jordan taken while I stood on a high chair...is there an endocrinologist in the house?


The boys playing a video game on Janelle's new computer.


Rayne, who was awake the whole time (honest) and Kendra.


Becky, or should I say Booty? With Kalimah and Mathew.


Claude, a.k.a. McGyver.


Homer in dazzling yellow.


Pastor Dean (Marsh's brother) minus his signature pork pie hat.

Kendra (again!) with Johnnie.


Oh, Look! Kendra, again!


Abdul, looking relaxed and happy...the second best shot of the day.


Mom Richards, Emmanuel, Kendra (Again, again!) and Dad Richards.


Mom and Dad Richards with my very shy daughter -- Tarah.

The Unwashed Masses

The Wilson Quarterly has a great review of a couple of books which trace the history of cleanliness and ideas of ritual purity. Did you know that "according to one survey, half of the French still don’t bathe daily... but they continue to lead Europe in the consumption of perfumes and cosmetics?"

I wonder what historians of the future will think of all the signs in public washrooms imploring people to wash their hands after using the crapper (potty/throne) and even going so far as to teach people how to wash their hands! I've always found these signs annoyingly paternalistic.

Please remember to floss after reading this article. And no, you don't have to floss all your teeth...just the ones you want to keep.

The End of Race as We Know It

Gerald Early has an interesting article on The Chronicle Review on the question of race, the U.S. presidential race and the use (abuse?) of America’s original sin. To read more follow the link. Below is an excerpt:

But the irony of our anti-Americanism was that it masked our yearning for inclusion, which is why we were attending white colleges and universities in the first place. We grasped an identity of "blackness," of the superficially non-Western, in our confused hunt to fit into somebody's scheme and our reflexive fear that we would certainly not fit into a Western or white scheme. We did not want to be, in James Baldwin's words, "bastards of the West," but the very nature of our identity quest was propelled by the fact that we knew, inescapably, we were just that.

Gerald L. Early is a professor of African and African-American studies and American-culture studies at Washington University in St. Louis, as well as director of its Center for the Humanities.

Rest your eyes

Photo Credit

Photos from the weekend at the Oligmullers

A shot of Lesley and Norbert's wonderful home.

Lesley and Norbert's "boat."

Inside the boat...galley?

Auntie Lesley and Tarah, topside.

Norbert and me on the deck...what's that on the floor?

I got a chance to dive in order to search for a fork or knife previously lost by Norbert. Unfortunately, the bottom is at least one-and-a-half feet of silt and find any object with any weight is nearly impossible.

Lesley and the kids on the tube.


Tarah ...what IS that on the deck?

Too funny!

Sharise's "friend" in China (?)

Pepe

A great article on the used clothing trade at reasononline... with some history on the "rag" trade.

Used Textiles

In case you are interested in the used clothing trade flourishing around the world...Oxfam has a report ("The Impact of the second-hand clothing trade on developing countries")on the transfer of used clothing from the first world to the third world. More on this new found interest of mine later.

Weekend at the Oligmuellers

We spent the weekend with our friends Lesley and Norbert at their home near Barrie and on their "boat."

Seth and Tarah had a great time, as did mom and I. Besides cruising the lake, I had the opportunity to get in the water and practice my scuba skills, while searching for a family heirloom which was lost overboard on a previous trip by Norbert and Lesley to the same bay.

Pictures to follow, as life is crazy-busy right now.

By the way, Lesley/Norbert....thank you so much for having us over and treating us to a weekend out of the city!

Kiran Ahluwalia

I am totally digging Kiran Ahluwalia's Kashish. The above photograph is taken from her website and was the cover art for the album. CHECK HER OUT!

Richard Rogers, Architect

I love this man's colour sensibility.

At Best

'You are at your best when you are exercising your self-determination.'

And Some Yeats, Followed by Vikram Seth

When You Are Old

When you are old and gray and full of sleep
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true;
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead,
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

All You who Sleep Tonight

All you who sleep tonight
Far from the ones you love,
No hand to left or right
And emptiness above -

Know that you aren't alone
The whole world shares your tears,
Some for two nights or one,
And some for all their years.

 -- Vikram Seth